


When There Was Doubt

by ItsMeGetOverIt



Series: My Way [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Episode: s02e15 One Door Closes, F/M, Mentor/Protege betrayal, S.H.I.E.L.D. vs real S.H.I.E.L.D., everyone has secrets, i still don't really know how to tag well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 23:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8917087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsMeGetOverIt/pseuds/ItsMeGetOverIt
Summary: Something in the doorway caught Fitz's eye and Jemma watches his eyes widen in surprise, and new betrayal and hurt enter his eyes. Turning quickly Jemma soon understands the look.Agent Anne Weaver was walking towards them her calm serene expression, which once brought her comfort, now felt like a one-two blow to the chest and the head. Anne Weaver is alive?Set in the same universe as my story 'My Share of Losing'. Jemma and Fitz are forced to face a friend they'd both been lead to believe was dead.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is set during 2x15-One Door Closes and connected to my other story 'My Share of Losing' which I'm now choosing to name the 'My Way' series after the song the titles are coming from. (The stories set in season 2 at least.)  
> Details are referenced from the other story, but I don't think they need to read in a particular order, and this could stand on its own. You are welcome to disagree with me on this because I'm too close to actually call it, I think.  
> There will be a story detailing the arguments mentioned here, and some other key points in season 2 but they're not finished. It's hard to know when they will be too because of this time of year. Sorry.  
> Also if any of you follow me on Tumblr you may recognise some of this from my FitzSimmons Advent.
> 
>  _Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew_  
>  When I bit off more than I could chew.  
> But through it all, when there was doubt,  
> I ate it up and spit it out.  
> I faced it all and I stood tall;  
> And did it my way.  
> 'My Way' sung by Frank Sinatra

They sat on the floor in their lab, well _her_ lab, she guesses since Fitz is still mainly in the garage with Mack, while the unknown new agents riffle through everything. Jemma didn't know if she felt better for having Fitz beside her, or if she felt worse at the thought that the two people she and Fitz had confided in the most were in fact working for someone else.

This hurts almost as much as Ward's HYDRA betrayal.

Well, maybe not quite, but there were so many emotions tied up to that time it's difficult, even now, for her to sort through all her feelings from that time. By contrast, this betrayal is easy to identify and mentally catalogue.

Regardless, a part of her is happy- no not happy; _relieved_ , that she is still on the same side as Fitz. Whatever else had happened, was still happening, between them; they were still on the same side. She was still right beside him.

There was so much she wanted to say to him. So much they had yet to find the courage to fully discuss; that the thought of how close she came to never having the chance made her throat tighten.

Without meeting his eye Jemma covers his hand with her own. She watches their hands closely as she rubs her wedding and engagement rings across his knuckle. Silently reminding him that she is still there beside him. She's not taken them off since her return from undercover; no longer hidden on a necklace. Never to be hidden again.

_She is on his side._

His other hand covers hers. His own wedding ring bumping against hers gently.

A tight smile crosses her face as she looks up to meet his eyes. Uncertain, scared, betrayed, but underneath all that she sees the love he'd been hiding from her for so long shining out again. _Finally_. They could be honest with each other; about this anyways. Whatever their unresolved personal issues were didn't matter; their love would see them through this. _Together_.

Something in the doorway caught Fitz's eye and Jemma watches his eyes widen in surprise, and new betrayal and hurt enter his eyes. Turning quickly Jemma soon understands the look.

Agent Anne Weaver was walking towards them her calm serene expression, which once brought her comfort, now felt like a one-two blow to the chest and the head. Anne Weaver is _alive_?

"Agent Weaver?" Fitz says as both a question and a greeting.

"It's been a while," the older Agent greets, her voice familiar but guarded.

"You're working with them?" Jemma can't keep the betrayal and incredulousness out of her voice.

Was it too much for her to hope this wasn't true? As much time as Jemma had spent hoping for their friend, mentor, and confidant to still be alive out there somewhere to find the confirmation here, like this, was another difficult thing to process.

"I could ask the same about you," the standing agent retorts, her voice holding a scolding tone that reminds Jemma too much of when she first joined the Academy.

"We sent people to the Academy to look for you, but you weren't there," Jemma counters. "We didn't even know if you were alive!"

Jemma had to suppress the returned stab of pain that had hit her while she was at her lowest and the added thought her mentor had been lost in Hydra's take over.

"If it weren't for Agent Caldron, I wouldn't be." Weaver's pain gave her two protégé's pause. "He co-opted a squadron of Quinjets to come to the Academy. He saved us. If it weren't for him, we would have lost even more young talented minds that day."

Jemma wasn't sure how she felt about this information. Caldron was alive too.

She looks over to Fitz and could see he was as confused as she was. And hurt by the actions of 'friends'.

"Then why are y-you…" he fumbles over his words.

Jemma could see he didn’t want to appear weak in front of their old mentor, but the stress of the situation, and having missed his last dosage of medication thanks to the timing of the take-over, was about to make him tongue tied.

"Why are you betraying SHIELD?" she jumps in finishing his thought and question. Anger laced her words at how this was rattling his hard fought confidence.

"Phil Coulson has no right to call this SHIELD," the older agent snaps.

"No right?" Jemma interrupts. " _We_ 've been fighting Hydra! We haven't been hiding from allies! _We_ weren't the ones who turned their backs on friends when they _needed_ them. I sent agents to location after location where you _might_ have gone." Weaver's eyes remain distant and cool.

" _I needed you_!" Jemma chocks out. "I had _trusted_ you and…" she swallows back the sob that tried to escape her throat. "And when I needed you most you were hidden away _avoiding_ us? May and Coulson did the best they could. I had to give May full disclosure _by myself_ from my own hospital bed." Fitz places his hand on her knee in both apology and silent support. Taking a large shaky breath Jemma refocuses. "I trust Agents Morse and Mackenzie have given you a full run down of what they know about what happened to us after the fall."

Weaver nods slowly. "I heard about Fitz's accident and the resulting injuries, yes. But they said nothing about you-"

"They wouldn't know. They don't have the clearance to be privy to that information." Despite how emotionally charged the moment is Jemma managed to keep her voice level; though the tone of accusation was crystal clear. "Coulson has every right to call this SHIELD because as you very well know, to us SHIELD means family. Family don't just disappear on each other for a year and then expect for nothing to have changed."

Fitz doesn't make any attempt to interrupt or stop her from talking. He leaves his hand on her knee in silent support.

"But of course the _real_ SHIELD's job would be to do almost exactly the same thing Hydra did a year ago but not in the name of chaos or destruction but…" Jemma paused and cocked her head to the side. "What are you claiming your justification is? I think I missed that."

Fitz couldn't help a breathless chuckle escaping him. That was his Jemma.

Weaver took all of Jemma's sass with minimal reaction.

"We obviously have a lot to discuss," Weaver started in a controlled voice, attempting to stop herself from getting too defensive at the upset young woman's words, "but right now, I need your help, Jemma. Agent Mackenzie's injuries have stabilised, but I need you to take a look, see if we missed anything. There are few whose opinion I value more, and could use your expertise."

Jemma let the flattery roll off her back like a duck does water, but turns to look at her husband. Mack was more his friend than hers. And checking him would involve leaving Fitz's side.

She reads in his eyes that he's also reluctant to let her out of his sight, but whatever bad blood had passed between him and the larger agent she could see he wants to know he would recover.  He gives her a barely perceptive nod and squeezes her leg briefly before he lets go. She gets to her feet exiting the lab.

*~*

Fitz watched Jemma stand and leave the lab towards the medical area. Once she was out of his sight his stomach dropped away. It was irrational but somewhere deep in his heart Fitz was loath to part with Jemma. Too much had happened recently. Whatever their professional disruptions may still be, they wouldn't let things separate them personally again.

Not now that he knew the whole truth.

The way Jemma had clung to his hand after the recent chaos of the base take over, Fitz thinks he didn't make that properly clear to her.

Getting to his feet he stood at the lab's window overlooking where Jemma was treating Mack.

"I knew she was changed. We all were by what Hydra did. But I don't think I ever expect to see Jemma Simmons _that_ changed," his former mentor said softly joining him at the window. Her voice dropped and almost sounded like the old mentor Fitz remembered, "I _hoped_ not to never see her like this, at least."

"It wasn't Hydra that did this to her. It was the additional lies, deception and injuries that came after that did this."

"The way Bobbi had described her, I thought it sounded like she was…"

"Normal?" Fitz supplied.

Weaver nodded, "Normal for Jemma, that is."

"She kinda was. There was something wrong. The kind of thing you need to really know Jemma to notice. So, I was the only one here who picked up on it. Coulson and May _knew_ what… it was. And they did their best for her. But they… they couldn’t be it all. I… I didn't… Then Puerto Rico happened."

Fitz allowed his head to fall forward to make contact with the window. Jemma probably wouldn't want Weaver to know all this. But she _had_ meant a lot to both of them. He wasn't used to keeping this sort of thing from Anne Weaver. And Fitz suspected that somewhere, despite all the betrayal and omissions that Anne Weaver did still genuinely care about them.

"Then I threw the word divorce out there." Weaver looks at him shocked. " _That_ broke her. She just… **_snapped_**. I've never seen her like that. I hope to never see her like that again. It took me a while, but the next time I mentioned it she… she cried. The first time I'd seen since… everything hit the fan. She broke her silence and finally told me what happened to her. It was my wife's hour of greatest need and I wasn't there for her. I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive myself.

"Okay, sure, I was comatose and unresponsive, but… she _needed_ me. She needed someone who knew her to help her begin to process what happened. _I_ was in a coma. Where were _you_?" Fitz turned and met Weaver's eye. "The _only_ other person she trusted enough to confide and seek help from. You _know_ what asking for help means in her family; how much she hates the thought of being the weakest link; of even seeming to have failed."

Two agents appeared at the door of the lab. One said they were here to escort Fitz back to his rooms. Weaver silently ordered them to wait outside for them to finish this conversation.

"But what _happened_?" Weaver presses, her eyes begging Fitz to tell her. "You both trusted me once."

Fitz shakes his head.

"It's not my story to tell you. You'll have to earn her trust back." He turned and face Weaver crossing his arms. "In the last two years do you know who hasn't lied to her about something fund…f…big, about something that really matters to her?"

"I would think you," Weaver said, her doubt over her choice audible.

"You'd think wrong," Fitz said with a shake of his head. "I talked Skye into the two of us keeping something pretty big from her."

"Her powers," Weaver needlessly provided. Fitz nodded tightly.

"First time I ever did that to her since… since I met her. All because I knew she was keeping _something_ from me."

He shook his head angrily at himself.

"The answer- is May. The woman you've just in… in… taken away for having the Director's back during this coo; for being _loyal_. Coulson and Jemma hashed out their differences over her undercover stint and the lies told there within days of her returning. Whatever his faults may be, Coulson has stood by her always when she's needed it. He may pref…pre…favour Skye, but Jemma and I come in very close second. Secrets, mis…direction- sure we've had those. C-comes with the job, we all know that- Jemma as much as anyone. But when the chips are down Coulson has always had our back and come for us. Kept secr..se…them _for_ us. And May has always been just as unwaveringly in our corner too.

"Yesterday _you_ would have been counted as someone who meant more to her in terms of mentor and advisor than anyone short of Gran by a long stretch. Now… now you've got yourself bumped to the back of the trust rank." Fitz turned his back to his former mentor and started heading out of the lab towards the waiting escorting agents. He threw over his shoulder before he fully exited the lab, "Congratulations on that Agent Weaver."

In the hall he met with Jemma as she was exiting the room she'd been seeing to Mack in. Without speaking their hands clasped together and they started down the hall. Side by side. Neither of them acknowledge the agents 'escorting' them and rather than separate at Fitz's door Jemma joined him.

Together they would weather this.

Together they could get through **_anything_**.

They may have forgotten that recently. But they wouldn't again.

Never again.


End file.
